How the Past Possesses the Present in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

What are humans constantly trying to do? Avoid temptation. Everyday, people make the choice to do one thing instead of another which is what they really want to do. Whether that choice was made due to an obligation, to pass a class, or to maybe live a healthier life, humans avoid temptation in their daily life. Some are better at it than others, but no one can hide from it completely. In the short story by Carol Oates, she puts temptation out on the table where everyone can see it, and understand how it possesses us.

Connie is a pretty fifteen year old girl who only cares about how other people see her. We all knew someone like this when we were that age; perhaps we were that person. From the very beginning, Oates sets up a character we can all relate to and understand. Then one day, Connie is confronted by a man named Arnold Friend, the epitome of temptation.

The notion of temptation can be traced back to several myths and stories throughout history. It is also central to many religions. In the story of Psyche and Eros, Psyche is convinced by her jealous sisters to give in to temptation and look upon the face of her husband and captor. Another tale, the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, centralizes on this theme. When Orpheus has been granted his plea to Hades to return his loved one Eurydice back to him, the one condition Hades sets before him is disobeyed because Orpheus could not stand the temptation. In Rapunzel, the same theme arises. In the Bible, Jesus goes out into the desert and Satan tempts him. Over and over again, the notion that we cannot overcome the temptations laid before us is present. Carol Oates portrays this through her story, from the perspective of a young girl.

Not only does Oates' story centralize on our willingness to succumb to the temptations laid before us, but she focuses on the desire of love. The myth of a demon lover. Connie knows she should not be with this man, or much worse want to be with this man, but something inside her is curious, lustful almost. The story plays on the ancient myth of Demeter and Persephone, where a confrontation between love and death occurs. Connie is confronted by both love and death from Arnold Friend, as he confesses his love for her, but then comes on to Connie in a sexual, stalker-type way. Connie is horrified, yet the reader is perhaps more horrified when the end of the story comes. The end begs the question: are we supposed to just give into temptation? Or does that depend on the kind of temptation? Because love tempts us all, all we have to do is give in.

3 O'clock Class

3 O’clock Class

Desere dragged her feet along the curved pathway. She had no one to walk with as she made the journey from her 2 o’clock class to her 3 o’clock. Tuesday and Thursday were the days from hell—and for one reason only. The lecture hall she walked into sloped downward, with rows and rows of arched tables facing the projector screens. Massive black leather seats lined the arched tables, and they should have been inviting, but she couldn’t enjoy their splendid comfort. She chose a seat, third row from the back, eyes searching. Where was he?

Setting down her backpack, she began to pull her notebook and pencil out, not looking at what she was doing. The projector screen had the topic of lecture for the day: “Understanding the Brain”.  She was starting to think he wasn’t there when suddenly a student that was standing sat down, and then she saw it. It drew her eyes to it, distracting her from everything else. She completely focused on the image in front of her. It was the epitome of ugly, yet strangely enchanting. This thing on the back of his neck haunted her. She wanted to look away, to concentrate on the words coming out of the professor’s mouth, but she could not stray her eyes from it.

As soon as the clock said 3:50, she left. Standing straight up, she walked up the three steps and out the door, not looking back. She was done with class for the day, and it was time to go home. Desere didn’t live far away, but even the twenty minute walk bore at her mind. Why did this thing bother her so much? She tried not to remember the image now burned in her mind but focus on the homework she had for the evening: constructing organic molecules out of little colored balls. At least she had something to distract her mind.

Desere tried to settle into her evening routine. She enjoyed knitting, and each night sat in front of her computer screen, watching Gray’s Anatomy and knitting the gold scarf she planned to give to her mother for Christmas. Knitting was monotonous and she enjoyed watching the characters in the show obsess over their relationships. How petty it seemed. After a while, she made a cup of chamomile tea to calm her before bed.

As she drifted into the unconscious, Desere tried not the think of the image that tugged at her mind. That night, she dreamt of him. She was sitting in class, just as she did earlier that day, and he stood up and turned to look at her. It was like she had walked from inside a dark theatre into the bright sunshine of midday. She was staring at the most beautiful human she had ever seen, and he was staring back at her. The expression on his face was one she had only ever seen when her father looked at her mother. An expression of complete and senseless love.  

Connecting the Dots...

In class, I keep writing down phrases or ideas that are brought up in class that are mind altering for me. The world of the myth and "reading into literature" is just now being opened up to me, and I'm starting to make sense of what is being said in class. If you looked at my notes, I literally (and yes I do actually mean literally) have arrows drawn between phrases, connecting the thoughts and making my own realizations. I guess you could say I've finally packed my bags and am headed down that "track to everything." So bare with me, this is a pretty twisted track. Also forgive me if you've already come to these conclusions.

Like Brooke, I was (and arguably still am) having a lot of trouble "reading into literature." It's always seemed to me that when you "read into literature," you're supposed to find one particular meaning, and I never seem to arrive at the same conclusion everyone else does. For example, in Night Sea Journey, I would not have arrived at the conclusion that it was talking about sperm had not someone told me. And a part of me wished I hadn't known. Then I realized that if I just went off of my own interpretations all the time, I wouldn't have seen many of the allusions and references literature makes. I think I expect the literature to tell me something--almost like I'm waiting for something to pop out and hit me in the head. Then Dr. Sexson the other day in class said we are all "lazy readers," and I now know exactly what he means. How's that for something to admit: I'm a lazy reader. The question that remains for me is that when do you stop "reading into things"? When you have gone completely mad?

"All literature is displaced myth." (Frye)

"The stories of your culture makes you who you are." (Dr. Sexson)

Another realization I came to the other day, call it an "ah ha" moment, was why we keep re-telling the same stories. I kept wondering if it's all the same story, why do we keep reading different literature and inventing new literature? My answer: because we need these myths to be understood by the people around us so they may be carried on to the following generations. At the end of the day: our culture defines us, and our stories define our culture. So we preserve them in our literature, writing the myths in different ways each time, because the likelihood of at least one person understanding what you meant is high, and that's one more person that then knows the myth.

Starting With the Dictionary

Whenever I am about to write an essay, I like to look up words in the prompt and see if I can draw any connections between them. It often gives me a good starting point. So that's what I did with the name of this seminar. I looked at the dictionary definitions of the key words in this seminar: literature, dreams, and life, and attempted to see how they relate to each other and what we've discussed thus far. 

Many words had several definitions, I chose to copy here which ones I thought most interesting. I encourage you to look them up and see them in full. (Taken from http://www.merriam-webster.com)

     Literature

1. writings in prose or verse; especially : writings having excellence of form or expression and expressing ideas of permanent or universal interest (2) : an example of such writings

Dream

1. a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep — compare rem sleep
2. an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: as
3. a visionary creation of the imagination : daydream
4. a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reverie
5. something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality
6. something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal <a meal that was a gourmet's dream>

Life

1. a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings 
2. the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual
3. spiritual existence transcending physical death
4. an opportunity for continued viability

In class, Mr. Sexson told us that "beauty triumphs depression."  My immediate reaction was to think: but can't there be something to be learnt from bleak and disgusting things, or do we choose not to remember them? If you think back on your life, do you remember more bleak or beautiful events, places, people, etc.? Is this was Mr. Sexson means? When I look back, I definitely remember more beautiful things. In the 5th definition of dream, it talks about beauty again, yet in many of the dreams described in class, they were not what you would call "beautiful" (unless you think massive bears, Nicholas Cage, charging walruses, spiders, and getting stung by a bee as beautiful--which maybe you do, I won't judge). Yet these perhaps "scary" or "ugly" dreams are ingrained in our minds. 

I very much enjoyed the second and third definition of life, mostly because it they include mental and spiritual experiences into a definition of life. If I were given the task of writing a definition for life, I would not have thought to include those. Dreams relate perfectly into this, they are definitely a mental and spiritual experience,  so very much a part of life. What if you went up to someone on the street and asked them to describe their life's greatest experiences? Do you think many would tell you about a dream they had? 

And lastly, literature. From what I have gathered so far, I see literature as a connecting piece for dreams, life, and memory. 

First Memory...What Does it Mean?

Since I can never remember any dream I've had past an hour after I awake, I chose to share my first memory. Though brief, this memory is quite vivid and I can see it even now in my head as I describe it.....

I am maybe three years old, and we (my father, mother, sister, and I) are living at our first house in Missoula, Montana. I have just woken up, and I am standing at the top of blue, carpeted stairs. I can hear voices below, it sounds like my father and mother discussing something. I want to know what they are saying, so I try to listen for awhile at the top of those stairs. Finally, unable to make out anything, I walk down the stairs. And that's it.

For some reason, I remember feeling very alone and scared during this memory. Perhaps I had just had a nightmare? I have no idea what this dreams mean, or is there supposed to be a meaning? Does there have to be a meaning for everything? Maybe I'll find out in this class.